Our Birth Story

This is my story of using Bradley Method (husband-coached childbirth) techniques to attempt a natural, medication-free, vaginal childbirth. This is my full story. I planned to write up a short summary, but haven't gotten to it yet. So beware that this is the full, TMI, extremely long story.

Leaving for the hospital:



Jason and I checked into the hospital at 6:00PM on Thursday January 15th. They set us up in a labor & delivery room and I filled out the paperwork. At around 7:00 the nurse inserted the Cervidil and hooked me up to the external fetal monitor. I really hated being on the monitor. The sensors kept slipping and it was a huge pain to try to sleep with it on while keeping the sensors from losing the baby's heartbeat. At 7:30PM the Sharks game came on, so we watched them lose their first home game in regulation (Boo!) and hung out.

Hanging out while on the monitor:



Jason was able to fall asleep sometime around 11 or midnight, but I wasn't able to fall asleep until 2:30AM because I was so anxious. I woke up at 4:30AM because of a "popping feeling" down below. "Hmmm...", I thought. "Could that really have been my water breaking? I don't feel any moisture. Maybe I should book it to the bathroom just in case." So I unplugged myself from the monitor ASAP and dashed to the bathroom. GUSH!! Sure enough, my water actually broke!! I was really surprised since not much usually happens with just the Cervidil. I woke up the hubby and told him what happened and then convinced him to go back to sleep because I needed him well rested for what was ahead. I tried to sleep, too, but contractions had started and were too strong to sleep through. I was in labor! The Cervidil fell out with one of the contractions, so at that point, I was having the non-intervention natural labor I was hoping so much for. I was beyond excited.

At 6:30AM I woke Jason up because the contractions were getting stronger and closer together.

At 7:00AM our nurses changed. I was a little happy about this because we weren't the biggest fan of the nurse we had during the night. She promised to take me off the monitor when the Cervidil fell out, but she never showed back up in the room. Our new nurse came in the room and introduced herself as "Francie: the hippy nurse." She explains that she had her children naturally and that the hospital assigns her to the natural childbirth gals. I'm thinking, "Awesome! Someone who's totally on my side." And boy was she! What an amazing nurse. I couldn't have asked for anyone better for us. She was extremely supportive and put us and our plan first.

Here's Francie with us the next day:





Francie un-hooked me from the monitor and I took a nice hot shower. Right after my shower, Jase started tracking the contractions for me. They averaged to about 4 minutes apart lasting for just over a minute. They were starting to get a little painful, so I played around with different positions. We got a birthing ball in the room and I sat on that. Ouch, that was a no-go. I did the "labor-dance" (standing and holding on to J's neck while we swayed back-and-forth). That position wasn't bad and it felt nice to have him rub my back at the same time. Soon the back rub got annoying and I asked him to switch to efflurage instead. And not long after that, the contractions got stronger and the labor dance position was no longer comfortable. I found my "magic position" by sitting on the bed with the back all of the way up. I assumed I would be doing all of my hard labor in the side-lying position I learned from the Bradley Method, but found this sitting position made the contractions MUCH less painful. Also, I quickly became unable to tolerate anyone touching me during a contraction (including massages from Jason). For some reason it broke my concentration and made it more difficult for me to relax instead of less.

The Magic Position during a contraction:



Each contraction would go like this: I could feel it starting and would say "here's another" or something similar. I would then close my eyes and relax my body. Jason would then start coaching me through the contraction the way he learned from the Bradley Method. He focused on relaxation as well as some visualization. I would let all of my muscles go loose and relax. I would "think" my way through the discomfort and focus on what my body was doing. I made sure I wasn't fighting the pain... just embracing it and letting it open my cervix to prepare for birth. I started out silent through all contractions, but eventually began to very softly humm/moan as the contractions got more difficult because it helped me stay focused and relaxed. It was Jason's coaching/voice that kept me perfectly calm and happy through all of the contractions. He would know the contraction was over when I opened my eyes again.

Throughout labor we kept the lights low and used aromatherapy scents on my wrists. I stayed really hydrated with water and juice to make sure I wouldn't need an IV and also ate light food and popsicles.

10:30AM came quickly and Francie checked my cervix. I was 5cm dilated!! I felt like I had hardly done any real work so far, so to hear that I was already at 5 was great. I continued to labor with Jason. The contractions were getting stronger and longer, but I'd still classify them as "easy." Francie checked me again at 1:20PM and I was now at 7cm. I was entering into transition!

I could definitely feel the contractions picking up in intensity and it became harder work to stay mentally on top of each one, but I was able to do it no problem and remain calm, relaxed, and in a good mood. I was starting to get tired, so I was actually sleeping between contractions off and on. The only challenge was when a contraction woke me, I needed to gather myself mentally very fast because the contractions weren't taking as long to build as they were when I was laboring earlier.

At 4:10PM Francie checked me and I was dilated to at least 9cm (bordering on a rim) already!! At this point I was absolutely ecstatic and could not believe how "easily" I had gotten that far. I felt confident and excited to start pushing soon. Francie told me to continue as I was and wait for the urge to push. The contractions remained at the peak of their strength and I stayed focused and relaxed.

An hour passed. Two hours passed. I was still feeling pretty good. I laid my head back against the bed between the contractions and slept. The most challenging part at this point was gathering my focus very quickly when I was awoken by a new contraction. They were very strong at the start so it was sometimes slightly startling.

I kept waiting for the urge to push to show up. I wasn't watching the clock (and am so glad! Jason was the one keeping track of my progress and the time.), so I wasn't too worried since I thought I remembered hearing that there are often normal reasons for the urge to push to not show up for a little while.

Sometime after the two or two-thirty mark from when I was checked at 9 cm, my doctor came in to check on my progress. I was still only 9 cm and baby had not descended! My bag of waters had moved and re-sealed. I was starting to feel discouraged and my doctor was concerned. She explained to us that the baby was probably stuck and that it was likely I would need a c-section to get her out. Madison was still doing really well and tolerating labor wonderfully, so we weren't rushed into making any decisions. We were basically given two options: - go for the c-section now or - break my resealed bag of waters and start Pitocin in combination with a different position to see if there was anything we could do to get her to fit. I'd be lying if I said the thought of choosing the c-section didn't cross my mind. I was afraid that I'd go through so much more all just to end up with the same result. But we decided to try whatever we possibly could to get her here safely and within our plan.

It is at this point, though, that I began to lose my focus and fear crept in. Along with that fear and loss of focus was the pain. My doctor offered/recommended an epidural to get me through. Honestly? I wanted it... Well, I thought I did. As I mentioned, I was feeling very discouraged and the threat of a c-section and all of my work for nothing was looming over me. Luckily, the anesthesiologist was in a surgery and unavailable for a while.

Along with these decisions, it was time for the nursing shift change. I was really sad to see Francie go and to have someone brand-new come in at a time when I really would have preferred some stability.

At 7:15PM the doctor broke my water and put me on an IV with a very low dosage of Pitocin. This is when the pain really began for me. The contractions were much stronger and closer together. Between my loss of focus/relaxation and the stronger contractions, I was feeling a lot more of the pain. Someone checked me and I was at 8 cm since the bag of waters was no longer pushing down to get me to 9.

Our new nurse, Mary Beth, told me to get on my hands-and-knees and rock back and forth through the contractions. She has had good results with getting stubborn babies to engage when using this position. Jason remained by my side helping me rock and coaching me through. He was calm and confident and I was focusing on that. The pain picked up more since I was out of my comfortable sitting position I had been laboring in and I ended up vomiting through a contraction. Mary Beth said that sometimes happens as the baby is dropping and that it might be a good sign!

I was really starting to wonder where Mr. Epidural Man was... And then I heard him at the door. And then I heard him get sent away. At the time I don't think anyone knew I had heard the exchange. I'm SO grateful to my hubby and Mary Beth for doing what they knew I'd want (even if I did say I wanted it just minutes earlier.) So I didn't mention I had heard him and just kept laboring and rocking back and forth.

After a while of doing that, I laid down on my side and began to feel an urge to push. Jason and I began asking things like "How do we know if it's time for her to push? How strong does the urge need to be?" to which Mary Beth responded "You'll know. It will be practically uncontrollable." Very shortly after I realized what she meant. I was unintentionally grunting and starting to push. My body definitely knew what to do and I went with it. I was checked again to make sure it was okay for me to push and I was just a smidge under 10 cm and her head was engaged! It worked!!! She made it through the point where she was stuck and it was really going to happen - our way.

It was about 8:25PM when I first started to push a little while laying on my side. After a couple contractions like that, I turned flat onto my back. Apparently this position is best when trying to facilitate a large baby. Mary Beth and Jason coached me on how to position myself to push and when the next contraction came, I put in a concentrated effort to bring our daughter into the world. Pushing with the contraction was actually a lot less painful than doing nothing through it. When the second contraction came I pushed again. I already had a good feel for how to be productive and was sure I was making progress. That's when Jason said, "I can see her head!" And even though I felt like I was being productive, I was sure he was lying just to give me encouragement. But when he said, "She has hair!" I knew he was dead serious and he was able to see our daughter! He turned back to me and when I could see that he had tears it really sunk in that she was almost there.

The nurses and J asked me if I wanted a mirror and I declined until eventually changing my mind and requesting one. They brought it in and I it was pretty awesome to see her head, but I didn't look at the mirror again until just a glance when her head was out later. I was way too focused to even remember that it was there.

With each contraction, I would pause in the beginning to wait for it to get stronger. Then it was a deep breath in - hold breath - push for 10 seconds - exhale/inhale quickly - push for 10 seconds - then sometimes a 3rd push.

I went through two or three of the contractions following this pattern. I was severely focused and pushing like my life depended on it. I was determined to get her out productively. I think it was the third contraction when I felt "the ring of fire" (her crowning). There was a definite burning feeling, but not much pain. The next contraction her head was out on the second or third push of the contraction!! My doctor told me to push one more time and she was born at 8:58PM! The physical feeling of relief was immense. They immediately placed Madison on my chest and Jason and I were completely overwhelmed with love. She started crying shortly after and scored a 9 on her apgar (which was later followed by another 9.) The feeling of meeting my daughter is something I could never fully describe and I don't think anyone can really understand until they become a parent. I looked up at Jason and his eyes were filled with tears. We had the most amazing first moment as our family of 3 with Jason close to me sharing a kiss, Maddie on my chest, and Jason's hand on her back.



Madison stayed on my chest while they cleaned her off a little and put a blanket over us. After waiting for quite a while, Jason cut the cord! I delivered the placenta shortly after. I had a 2nd degree tear, so the doctor stitched me up and then I was done with labor! Maddie was happy and very alert. She breastfed really well (the nurse called her a piranha, which has turned into my nickname for her) and I felt like we bonded immediately. After about an hour, they took her to get weighed, eye drops, and the Vitamin K shot. Before weighing her, the nurse asked for guesses. We all guessed with the highest guess coming from my doctor at 9 lbs. Madison was placed on the scale and my doctor laughed the same laugh she did when she measured my tummy and suggested I be induced. 10 pounds 5 ounces!! Our big, healthy baby!



Looking Back:

Reflecting on the experience, I absolutely cherish the birth of our child. It's one of my proudest accomplishments. The other part about the experience I truly cherish is the way the labor was about all 3 of us - myself, Jason, and Baby Maddie. Jason was as involved as any coach or husband could POSSIBLY be. It sounds strange to say this way, but he gave birth with me. He was verbally coaching me through EVERY single contraction (which must have been hundreds). He was the one reminding me exactly what my body was doing and why so that I could focus on why the pain felt the way it did and why that was a good thing. I could see the pride in his eyes as I was doing well and that gave me the strength and peace to continue on easily. And when things got tough, he was strong for me. No matter how shaken he was on the inside, he was my rock on the outside and was everything I needed him to be the entire time. I could not have done it without him. WE brought our daughter into this world the way we wanted and I love him more now than I ever have. The feeling of togetherness was almost euphoric. And now to see him as the father of my child is indescribable. Madison is so lucky to have such a devoted Daddy and I'm so lucky to have such a devoted husband.

The proud father in the delivery room: